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 Post subject: Having Fun with Scammer...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:30 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Almost a month ago I received a Y! IM from someone I didn't know who had a pretty cute yahoo profile. We chatted a bit and I pretty quickly came to the conclusion that this person was trying to scam me out of some cash. Rather than blocking my "new friend" I opted to have some fun and just kind of mess with her/him. I was relaying along some of my convos to a buddy who suggested I post the logs so more people could appreciate the humor value here.

IM ids have been changed to protect me from being hounded by others, and to keep others from messing up one of the biggest sources of amusement I've had in a while. :-)

I'll try and submit the logs as individual replies to this message. Probably one reply per day's worth of chatting. Personal commentary will be indicated in {brackets}

Btw, this is fairly long thread. If you want to skip to where the humor really starts shaping up, you can can skip to where the fun really starts getting good

-- Bill

P.S. Perhaps if this catches on, a new top level category ("Perhaps Scamming the Scammer") for humorous exchanges with scammers. I know there are some websites out there that are a riot as well[/url]

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


Last edited by IloveNigerians on Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Start of the scam...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:49 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
{This is the first real convo we had... it had been preceded about a week ago with an unsolicited request to allow "Mary" to add me to her buddy list, which I agreed to.}

---
Code:
(16:22:25) Mary: hello
(16:22:27) Mary: how are u
(16:22:28) : Buzz!!
(17:10:01) Bill: hey Mary... how are ya?
(17:10:08) Mary: am kool
(17:10:09) Mary: u/
(17:10:12) Mary: ?
(17:10:20) Bill: not bad... still at work.
(17:10:26) Mary: ok
(17:10:33) Mary: when back from work im me
(17:10:46) Bill: btw, you haven't replied to my question from earlier... do you prefer Mary or Louis?
(17:11:00) Mary: i prefer Mary
(17:11:04) Bill: (your profile says louis is your nick, but I've always just called ya Mary)
(17:11:05) Mary: why do u ask?
(17:11:32) Bill: I just didn't want to be calling you something you didn't like.
(17:11:51) Mary: ok
(17:11:55) Mary: am mary
(17:12:02) Mary: and nick is louis
(17:12:10) Mary: you like that
(17:12:44) Bill: am confused by that, but I'll just keep calling ya Mary. :-)
(17:12:53) Mary: ok
(17:12:56) Mary: thanx


{later that night}

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-02 22:40:27 on Bill (yahoo)
(22:40:27) Mary: hello
(22:40:34) Mary: how are u
(22:40:34) : Buzz!!
(22:40:43) Bill: hey Mary.
(22:41:01) Mary: where have u been
(22:41:04) Mary: ?
(22:41:11) Bill: was on earlier...
(22:41:22) Mary: ok
(22:43:03) Mary: i got a small problem here
(22:43:07) Mary: can u help me
(22:43:23) Bill: perhaps, what's up?
(22:43:48) Mary: am kool
(22:43:58) Mary: but not really kool
(22:44:28) Bill: I don't understand... what's up?
(22:44:57) Mary: let me tell u what happened
(22:45:11) Mary: my late mum has a store in africa
(22:46:26) Mary: and seens when she was late i have not got to the store a gain and i had a call from africa last week the my mums tax fee is now due then i went down to pay for the tax
(22:47:19) Mary: i wrote them a check they said that the check could not be cash
(22:47:25) Mary: are u listening
(22:47:28) Bill: they is who?
(22:48:05) Mary: federal government of the state that my mums store was
(22:48:30) Mary: so i decide to call my bank to wire the money down to me
(22:48:39) Mary: can u immagine what they said
(22:49:39) Mary: are u there
(22:50:00) Bill: I'm here, sorry
(22:50:13) Bill: what 'state' are we talking about?
(22:50:22) Mary: in africa'
(22:50:30) Bill: africa is a big place...
(22:50:38) Bill: what country/state?
(22:50:39) Mary: is like legos state or so
(22:50:46) Mary: becos i dont know there
(22:51:06) Mary: so my bank said that they can not wire down the money to me
(22:51:39) Mary: that there is no transactions between them
(22:53:30) Mary: so can u help me

At this point, I'm googling for Legos and africa, and only finding references to the Lego toys.

Code:
(22:53:45) : Buzz!!
(22:54:02) Bill: no need to buzz
(22:54:08) Mary: ok
(22:54:16) Mary: but u are not responding
(22:54:40) Bill: am trying to figure out what kind of diplomatic relationship we have with Legos.... see if if there is a consolate you can talk to
(22:55:17) Mary: i even called my bank no trasaction
(22:55:42) Bill: how did you get notified of the pending tax?
(22:55:53) Mary: they called my
(22:55:53) Bill: and is this shop of your moms something you care about?
(22:56:00) Mary: and they ask of my mum
(22:56:09) Mary: yeah
(22:56:17) Mary: there still some items there
(22:57:15) Bill: they called you?
(22:57:20) Mary: yes
(22:58:12) Bill: it seems awfully suspicious to me...  that the federal government of a foreign country would track you down to collect tax  from the daughter of a deceased shopkeeper?
(22:58:15) Mary: so whatcan u do to help me
(22:59:23) Bill: you know, I'm not sure I can do anything to help... try to find the consolate of the country you're dealing with.
(22:59:37) Bill: don;t send money or wire transfers to people you don't know.
(23:00:06) Mary: thats is what am telling them but there saying that if i could not pay before next week that they would use my mums items t
o represent it and its not proper
(23:00:20) Bill: if there are items there that you want, you'll likely need to go over and collect them, or have someone else do so, and the
y would know better than I would what you should do
(23:00:56) Bill: what is your citizenship?
(23:01:10) Mary: usa
(23:01:18) Mary: i was born in boston ma
(23:01:36) Bill: ok... do you have any other family in Legos?
(23:01:57) Mary: no am not from legos
(23:02:16) Bill: (I don't even know the country of Legos, and I'm pretty good in geography... where is it?)
(23:02:18) Mary: legos is the state that i am in in africa not usa
(23:02:33) Mary: its nigeria
(23:02:35) Bill: you keep saying state... you mean country?
(23:02:40) Bill: ohh nigeria...

{at this point, believe it or not, I was thinking *SHE* was being scammed by someone claiming to be a Gvmt official}
Code:
(23:02:51) Mary: yeah thas the country
(23:03:01) Mary: the place is very hot
(23:03:17) Bill: that would have helped.... Nigeria is infamous for its bank scams.
(23:04:15) Mary: i know but do u know waht i plained to do when i pay the money i will shipp the goods back to my stores in states
(23:04:28) Mary: because i can not continue like these
(23:05:07) Bill: check out: http://www.secretservice.gov/alert419.shtml 
4-1-9 Schemes frequently use the following tactics:   
An individual or company receives a letter or fax from an alleged    "official" representing a foreign government or agency;
(23:05:53) Mary: can they help me
(23:06:39) Bill: anyway, I can't help you any more on this... I really don't know. It seems to me though that if you have property in a fore
ign country that you want to collect, then you either need ot know someone in that country, or you will need to retreive it yourself. If you
're serious about getting the items, think about buying a plane ticket.
(23:07:24) Mary: yeah am really serious
(23:07:50) Mary: because i gave them store so that they can release my store to me
(23:08:03) Mary: and i will pick up the goods bank to states
(23:10:07) Mary: so u dont want to help me and am screwed up now because i have paid  the money for my flight back to states and the only mo
ney with me is for my accomodation
(23:10:20) Mary: so just help me
(23:10:41) Bill: what do you want me to do?
(23:10:51) Bill: *I* don't know nigerian tax law...
(23:11:08) Mary: i too
(23:11:34) Bill: I don't know nigerian representatives to the US.... I've given all the good advice I know.
(23:11:50) Mary: i got $500 with me remaining $500
(23:12:09) Mary: and i had to pay before june 10
(23:12:32) Bill: sigh... I dont understand how you think I can help
(23:12:55) Mary: ok
(23:13:13) Mary: can u help me with $300 or 200

{at this point the scam should be clear, but I guess I didn't think about scammers using IM so I'm still thinking she's just being silly/non-sensical}
Code:
(23:14:36) Mary: are u ignoring me
(23:15:46) Bill: I'm not ignoring you, but I'm nearly set to.
(23:16:22) Mary: set to what
(23:16:47) Bill: nearly set to ignore you... what kind of person asks a complete stranger to "loan" them $200. I don't know you... the whole
 situation sounds so preposterous.
(23:17:24) Mary: are u saying u dont know me?
(23:17:57) Mary: let me tell u u can help me know
(23:18:13) Mary: and i too can help u in future too
(23:18:21) Mary: or u dont know
(23:20:00) Bill: what is my name?  how would you plan on repaying a stranger that you don't know?  Why would a stranger give you money? How
silly is it to even ask?
(23:21:48) Mary: yes it look sily but if not that the legos government that didn`t receive my check it wouldn`it have been a sily word
(23:22:07) Mary: and i wouldn`t has ask from u
(23:23:36) Bill: By the way, its Lagos.
(23:23:57) Mary: what is lagos is it legos
(23:25:07) Bill: the name of the city (not state) is Lagos, Nigeria.
(23:25:23) Mary: ok
(23:25:29) Mary: have u been there before
(23:25:33) Bill: no...
(23:25:49) Mary: then how do u know
(23:26:28) Mary: pls just try help me
(23:27:11) Bill: try calling the US embassy in nigeria.. If you are a US citizen, they should help.  http://usembassy.state.gov/nigeria/
(23:28:08) Mary: i said am not a citizen of legos
(23:28:13) Mary: sorry lagos
(23:28:52) Bill: you are a US Citizen, therefore, you can call the US embassy in Nigeria to get assistance.
(23:28:59) Bill:  Lagos:  Monday through Friday
23:29:25) Bill: that's all the help I can give you
(23:29:55) Mary: well i asn`t reach that
(23:30:17) Mary: that i would state calling us embassy for $300?
(23:31:18) Bill: what is your phone number... If I am going to give you 300 out of the goodness of my heart, I'd want to hear your voice...
(23:31:53) Mary: ok
(23:32:34) Mary: these my phone number but am not at home now u can call me in 45 mins later
(23:32:56) Mary: but these my number 2348029084053
(23:33:09) Bill: what country is that?
(23:33:27) Mary: nigeria
(23:33:34) Bill: you're in nigeria?
(23:33:43) Mary: in aftica
(23:33:50) Bill: you are in nigeria right now?
(23:34:10) Mary: yeah

{light bulb goes off and I decide to have some fun with this situation}
Code:
(23:35:22) Mary: pls call me as soon as i get home so that we can talk better
(23:37:04) Bill: perhaps later, I need to get back to work
(23:37:24) Mary: ok
(23:37:48) Mary: pls ry and call in 50 mins time
(23:40:05) Bill: what city are you in, in Nigeria right now?
(23:40:29) Mary: am in legaos
(23:42:31) Bill: ahh, now I see... you in Lagos, want to pay off your mother's tax burden, but your US bank in Boston won't wire you the fun
ds... is that right?
(23:42:54) Mary: yeah
(23:43:07) Mary: why repitting
(23:43:21) Bill: ok... well, just give me your Bank account number, I'll have the bank wire me money which I'll send to you.
(23:44:00) Bill: I wanted to make sure I understood... I was confused earlier
(23:44:12) Mary: no dont send it to my account
(23:44:39) Bill: well, your bank should have no trouble wiring me money, which I can then forward on to you.
(23:44:42) Mary: i will give u the fed gov detials which u will use in sending it
(23:44:58) Mary: they will not
(23:45:05) Mary: how are u going to do it
(23:45:14) Bill: they won't wire money to another US bank?
(23:45:35) Mary: that is if i was there
(23:46:24) Bill: you can arrange a wire transfer with just the bank routing number and your account number
(23:46:46) Bill: anyway... sorry, but I have to go put out a fire...
(23:46:58) Mary: ok
(23:46:59) Mary: call me
(23:47:00) Bill: (figurativly speaking)
(23:47:56) Mary: why?


{I go to bed... Impressed with my ability to find the phone number of our consolate in Lagos Nigeria, but somewhat disgusted with the encroaching of scammers onto instant messanger}

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


Last edited by IloveNigerians on Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Four days later...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:51 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-06 16:01:42 on Bill (yahoo)
(16:01:42) Mary: hello
(16:01:50) Mary: when are u sending the money
(16:52:58) Bill: you never told me your bank account number to wire it into.


{I've decided to have some fun with this person... so I'm going to try and reverse the scam and get them to reveal info about themselves.}

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Next day: a US address, Enter Kwelele, some laughs
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:59 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-07 14:40:58 on Bill (yahoo)
(14:40:58) : Buzz!!
(14:41:03) Mary: hello
(14:41:17) Mary: can u call me now
(14:41:18) Bill: man, I've asked you before, please don't buzz me.
(14:42:36) Bill: actually, can you call me instead?
(14:43:04) Mary: no i can`t
(14:43:10) Bill: ohh well
(14:43:15) Mary: y
(14:43:18) Mary: u said so
(14:43:26) Mary: that u will call me
(14:43:35) Mary: and now saying another thing
(14:43:53) Bill: I said I wanted to talk to you. I can't make international calls from work
(14:44:16) Mary: why
(14:44:19) Bill: if you could call me, then we could chat about your situation.
(14:44:27) Bill: Why?  My company doesn't allow it.
(14:44:29) Mary: pls just try and help me
(14:44:40) Mary: ok
(14:44:51) Mary: can u send it now since u can not call me
(14:44:56) Bill: what do you want me to do again?
(14:45:12) Bill: ohh yea, you need money for tax liability...
(14:45:24) Bill: what was your bank account number again?
(14:46:13) Mary: i dont have bank account here in africa
(14:46:25) Mary: u can send it through western union
(14:47:07) Bill: possibly...  but how would I know you were going to pay me back?
(14:47:21) Mary: ok
(14:47:40) Bill: what is the name and address I need to use for western union?
(14:47:48) Mary: should i provide u my address so that u can visit me when back in states
(14:47:54) Bill: sure.
(14:47:58) Mary: ok
(14:48:18) Mary: my address in states is
(14:48:22) Mary: mary bratt
(14:48:34) Mary: address:64 chase ave
(14:48:41) Mary: city:north adams
(14:49:06) Mary: zip cpode 01247
(14:49:21) Mary: then the address need to send the money
(14:49:43) Mary: send it to the tax mg straight no need of sending it to me
(14:49:46) : Buzz!!


{note, that I looked this house up on google maps, it does in fact exist... I feel sorry for whoever lives there and may be getting email for this fictional person}

Code:
(14:49:52) Mary: are u there
(14:50:08) : Buzz!!
(14:50:23) Mary: are u there
(14:51:06) : Buzz!!
(14:52:31) Mary: hello
(14:52:55) Mary: ?
(14:54:13) Bill: I'm back, sorry am at work had some people who needed some help
(14:54:20) Mary: ok
(14:54:40) Mary: send it to these person in charge of my store
(14:54:50) Mary: name:kwelele festus
(14:55:12) Mary: address:102 government college
(14:55:19) Mary: surulere lagos
(14:55:27) Mary: have u seeing the address
(14:56:22) Mary: have u jot it down
(14:56:57) : Buzz!!
(14:57:18) Mary: u there
(14:57:51) : Buzz!!
(14:57:53) Bill: I'm back.
(14:58:01) Mary: ok
(14:58:07) Mary: print the address out
(14:58:09) Bill: what part of do not buzz me isn't clear?
(14:58:22) Mary: ok
(14:58:23) Mary: ok
(14:58:29) Mary: the second part


{Man this had me rolling on the floor... "the second part"... I'm laughing even now}

Code:
(14:59:30) Bill: well, I won't be able to stop by western union until after work...
(15:03:01) Mary: ok
(15:03:26) Mary: pls send me the details as soon as u send it when u closes from work
(15:04:27) Mary: are u there
(15:04:31) Bill: I'm here
(15:04:35) Mary: ok
(15:04:44) Bill: I really wish you could call me before I send the money
(15:04:46) Mary: have u put down the details u will use
(15:04:56) Mary: no dont woory
(15:05:54) Bill: do yo uhave any pictures of yourself? I'd like to know who the money is helping...
(15:06:03) Mary: pls remember to give me your address too that u use in sedind it
(15:06:10) Mary: ok
(15:06:19) Mary: u dont remember me mary
(15:06:26) Mary: in my profile
(15:06:53) Bill: well yes, your profile is there, but that's only one picture...
(15:07:02) Mary: yeah
(15:07:12) Mary: all my pix is at home
(15:07:18) Mary: on my laptop
(15:07:29) Bill: when will you be home?
(15:07:50) Mary: if u send the money today i will be at home by friday
(15:08:22) Bill: where are you staying right now? Hotel? Motel?
(15:09:00) Mary: hotal
(15:09:06) Mary: i gtg
(15:09:12) Mary: pls send the money today

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Big laughs as I confess to be an idiot...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:45 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
So, to catch people up who may have skimmed through the prior logs... Mary has asked me to wire $300 via Western Union to the tax official in Nigeria who is handling her dead mother's tax liability.... I told her I'd help her out. But... oops, look like I sent the money to her stateside address.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-08 09:23:57 on Bill (yahoo)
(07:41:32) Mary: hello
(07:41:47) Mary: can u give me the details u use in sending it
(09:40:06) Bill: Ok... I wired $300 via Western Union last night to Mary Bratt, 64 Chase Ave; North Adams MA.  The MCTN is 6513492218. Sender name: Ross Perot, Plano TX. The secret password I chose was "A friend in need is a friend indeed".   I really hope you get your Massachusetts state taxes taken care of and are able to move back to Nigeria like you told me you wanted.


I sure hope ole Ross isn't going to sue me for using his name... Anyway, at this point, I'm trying to do most of our conversations via offline mesgs to string out the confusion and the humor for as long as possible.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-08 13:29:52 on Bill (yahoo)
(13:29:52) Mary: hello
(13:29:56) Mary: how are u
(13:30:58) : Buzz!!
(13:31:00) Mary: hello
(13:31:16) Mary: can u give me the informations now
(13:31:17) : Buzz!!
(13:36:36) : Buzz!!
(13:37:15) Bill: I IMed you earlier... let me re-send the info... (I haven't much time to chat, am at work and it's pretty busy here...)
(13:37:23) Bill: Ok... I wired $300 via Western Union last night to Mary Bratt, 64 Chase Ave; North Adams MA.  The MCTN is 6513492218. Sender name: Ross Perot, Plano TX. The secret password I chose was "A friend in need is a friend indeed".   I really hope you get your Massachusetts state taxes taken care of and are able to move back to Nigeria like you told me you wanted.
(13:37:59) Bill: and please don't Buzz me.
(13:38:24) Mary: ok
(13:44:55) Mary: pls it did not track can u track it from ur side there
(13:45:37) Mary: hello
(13:45:44) Mary: are u there
(13:47:51) Mary: and pls there was a terrible mistake
(13:47:55) Mary: are u there
(13:49:01) Bill: am at work, sorry, too busy to chat
(13:49:11) Mary: ok
(13:49:13) Mary: wait
(13:49:22) Mary: can u call the money back
(13:49:32) Mary: and send it here
(13:49:40) Mary: am not in states now pls
(13:50:36) Mary: pls send it here
(13:50:38) Mary: kwelele festus102 government college rdlagos nigeria 23401
(14:24:50) Mary: hello
(14:36:43) Mary: hello
(15:06:56) Mary: hello
(15:07:02) Mary: are u still busy
(15:15:20) Mary: pls am not at home right now and sorry for a mistake the address i gave u was my home address in ma so that u can visit me when i come to states
(15:15:34) Mary: am not really paying tax in ma but in nigeria
(15:16:41) Mary: so can you pls go back to western union to recive the money back and send it to the Federal Government in nigeria here that i am
(15:16:54) Mary: these is the details you will use
(15:17:06) Mary: kwelele festus
(15:17:22) Mary: address:102 government college rd
(15:17:37) Mary: surulere lagos nigeria 23401
(15:17:59) Mary: pls send the details to my email box these time XXXXX@yahoo.com
(15:29:38) Bill: Hey Mary, I'm confused by what you wrote? You wrote that you were in Nigeria but needed to pay state taxes so I thought you needed the money for MA taxes. I'll try and get the money back, but I don't know if Western Union will do that. I don't feel comfortable sending the money straight to kwelele though, as you would have no record of the money being received and thus no way to prove that your taxes had been payed if he decides to keep the money himself.
(15:30:17) Bill: Instead, I will direct Western Union to only give the funds out to you personally, so you can give the money to the tax officials and get an official receipt.
(15:31:59) Bill: What is your passport number, so that I can make sure Western Union only gives the funds to you? with as important as this money is for you, I would hate for it be lost to you because of fraudulent Western Union employees.
(15:32:56) Bill: I'm going to be busy at work for the rest of the , please leave me offline messages so I can make sure you get the money as soon as possible. I hope Western Union will give me back the money from last night.
(15:39:17) Bill: Most importantly though, remember to zofo the trellucks in order to receive the money.


{The "zofo" comment was just random gibberish I threw in there to screw around with her.}

to be continued...

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


Last edited by IloveNigerians on Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: A panic stricken Mary
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 10:54 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Poor Mary is must be thinking that she's lost her opportunity for some easy cash by having her mark being too dumb to understand simple directions... here's her offline directions on what I should do...

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-09 16:12:41 on Bill (yahoo)
(16:12:41) Mary: hello
(16:12:53) Mary: thanks for  ur consign
(16:13:13) Mary: you know aht u will do
(16:14:00) Mary: just go to western union and recive the money back and tell them you made a mistake of sending it to Ma
(16:14:19) Mary: that u will be receiving the money back and they will give u back
(16:14:54) Mary: so send the money to kwelele festus well dont worry about me nowing maybe the guy have recive it or not
(16:15:09) Mary: i will track it and give him the details he will use
(16:31:53) Mary: hello
(16:31:56) Mary: are u there
(16:48:04) Mary: hello
(16:48:07) Mary: are u busy
(16:48:13) Mary: why not responding
(17:30:29) : Buzz!!
(17:30:39) Mary: are u back from work
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-09 23:59:17 on Bill (yahoo)
(23:11:39) Mary: pls try and send the money to the kwelele festus


She sure does have a lot of faith in ole Kwelele's integrity... :-)

-- Bill

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: More big laughs... Turn that frown upside down.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 11:06 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
By this time I'm really enjoying my new hobby... and I've started sharing some snippets of the conversations with coworkers who find great humor in Mary's persistence as well.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-10 10:28:51 on Bill (yahoo)
(10:28:51) Mary: hello
(10:28:53) Mary: how are u
(10:28:55) : Buzz!!
(10:29:07) Bill: am at work... kind of busy...
(10:29:18) Mary: ok
(10:29:20) Bill: Mary, you're really beginning to get me upset at you with your constant buzzing.
(10:29:39) Mary: oh sorry
(10:29:45) Mary: pls am very sorry
(10:29:59) Mary: i dont meant to hot u
(10:30:05) Mary: sorry
(10:30:35) Bill: well, you are hotting me.


Man I'm laughing my a$$ off right now... I don't mean to hot you... lol

Code:
(10:31:08) Mary: pls sorry i promise i will not buzz u again
(10:31:57) Bill: As I mentioned yesterday, I wasn't able to get to Western Union last night, I had to watch our kids... hopefully tonight I can wire the money to you
(10:32:26) Mary: ok
(10:32:52) Bill: I'll be sending along $260 this time (the $300, minus the 10% withdrawl fee, minus the money transfer fee)
(10:33:56) Mary: yeah i know but pls make the money ?$300 and send it to Mr Kwelele Festus
(10:34:04) Mary: am very gratefull
(10:34:32) Bill: why can't I send the money to you?
(10:34:45) Mary: ok
(10:34:56) Mary: send the money to me
(10:35:19) Mary: Mary Williams


At this point, I've checked out her yahoo profile again and have noticed that her pic is a woman of much fairer skin complexion, and maybe 60 pounds lighter.... she obviously has a career as professional model. :-)

Code:
(10:35:32) Bill: ohh, I saw your new picture... you look like you some weight since you've been in Nigeria.
(10:36:12) Mary: yeah u know i got screwed that old pix was when am still 23
(10:36:17) Mary: but 25 now
(10:36:33) Bill: is it nice there? I hear tourism is really improving in Nigeria.
(10:37:13) Mary: well i dont know because in always in door
(10:37:29) Bill: why not go out and have some fun while you're there?
(10:38:06) Mary: well i dont have the money
(10:38:11) Mary: thats why
(10:39:01) Bill: yeah, but it doesn't take any money to go looking around, to visit the scenic buildings, to enjoy the city.
(10:39:39) Mary: yeah but i will take ride do u know that i will eat too etc
(10:40:31) Bill: yeah, but you'd eat if you stayed inside all day too... you should go out, try and have a good time and make the best of the situation.  Turn that frown upside down.


I crack myself up...

Code:
(10:40:54) Mary: yeah i know
(10:41:10) Mary: but am not really in that mode
(10:43:00) Bill: Mary, I'm really sorry but I have to get ready for meeting... am at work.  Remember though to go out, have a good time, I'm sure Lagos has lots of happening night clubs... go dancing, get laid, take some X...
(10:43:18) Mary: ok


Leave it to me to give sage advice to hot women stranded in a foreign country with no money.

Code:
(10:43:58) Mary: make sure u sent the money mary williams the address i gave u in lagos
(10:45:48) Bill: Mary WIlliams?  I'm confused... your name in the US is Mary Bratt. Is Mary WIlliams your nigerian name?
(10:46:09) Mary: yeah Mary Wiliams Bratt
(10:46:16) Mary: thats my name
(10:46:32) Mary: no williams is my other name
(10:47:12) Bill: Ohh, so it's your godfather's name? that makes sense...
(10:47:27) Mary: yes
(10:50:45) Mary: take care
(11:28:18) Mary: i will so be out fore lunch
(13:49:08) Mary: hello
(14:23:24) Mary: hello


I'm glad she reminded me to send her the money... I nearly forgot what it was she wanted me to do again. :-)

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Skipped for brevity...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
For brevity, I'll not post the:
    16 'hello' messages
    12 'are you there' messages
    4 'are you busy' messages
    2 'please send money details' messages
    2 'have u sent the money' messages


All of which were sent over two days and went unanswered, and yet she persisted, and we resume our regularly scheduled fun.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-14 13:56:23 on Bill (yahoo)
(13:56:23) Mary: hello
(13:56:26) Mary: how are u
(13:56:34) Mary: have u sent it?
(14:15:52) Bill: So I went to Western Union location yesterday, and they recommended that I  specify your passport number on the wire transfer. Apparently they've had problems with people intercepting money transfers in a fraudulent way.
(14:16:55) Mary: what are u saying i said dont send it to my client again send it to me
(14:17:00) Mary: is there fraud there
(14:17:08) Bill: to my client?
(14:17:13) Bill: you're mary, right?
(14:17:14) Mary: fraud in helping me
(14:17:24) Mary: yeah
(14:18:06) Bill: no, Western Union has said they have had problems with money being given out to the wrong person, and that the best way to make sure the money goes to who it is meant to go to is to require the person's passport be displayed.
(14:18:38) Bill: I'm trying to protect you from people who might steal the money.
(14:18:53) Mary: no they will not
(14:19:40) Mary: pls go to another west union and send it to me
(14:19:58) Bill: Huh?  Western Union said the best way to to keep people from stealing from you is to require you to show your passport as id.


At this point, I have a stroke evil inspiration... I had just received a 419 scam email in my inbox, so I figured that I'd get Mary to think I was going to fall for some other sap's scam.... So I send her the Funniest 419 Scam Ever and told her that this would be the answer to our financial problems. She could collect the money for us since she's right there.

Code:
(14:20:38) Bill: ohh, what is your email, there was a really interesting proposal sent to me that might allow us both to get the money we need.
(14:20:57) Mary: ok
(14:21:18) Mary: its driving licence that they use here or passprot
(14:21:30) Mary: @yahoo.com
(14:21:45) Bill: oh, do you have a drivers license number I can list on the the money transfer?
(14:22:11) Mary: ok
(14:22:51) Mary: but why is all these happening
(14:23:13) Mary: i need it now
(14:23:14) Bill: Western Union doesn't want your money to be stolen.
(14:23:28) Mary: i know
(14:23:29) Bill: As your friend, neither do I...
(14:23:37) Mary: ok
(14:24:35) Mary: am out of home now and these is no way i could give you the details of id
(14:25:31) Mary: pls try and go to another western union pls
(14:25:42) Mary: i need these urgently
(14:26:10) Mary: i know they dont want my money to be stolen
(14:27:01) : Buzz!!
(14:29:53) Mary: hello
(14:29:55) Mary: are u there
(14:31:28) Bill: sorry am here, am working on an email for you.
(14:32:10) Mary: k
(14:34:06) Bill: Ok I've sent you the email that should allow us to both make some money.
(14:34:19) Mary: ok
(14:34:32) Mary: let me see but pls send the money today
(14:35:23) Bill: ohh, how was your weekend? Were you able to get laid quite nicely?
(14:35:54) Mary: yes
(14:36:11) Bill: did you go clubbing?
(14:37:08) Mary: no i already told u that i dont make money there is i can not go there
(14:39:44) Bill: Hey, I am late for another meeting... I must go... I will try to find a western union here that won't require your id...


And at this point, she must have read her email.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-14 14:40:46 on Bill (yahoo)
(14:40:46) Mary: ok
(14:41:22) Mary: wait before u reply those people that mailed u from nigeria lets talk first pls
(14:43:05) Mary: u hear that

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


Last edited by IloveNigerians on Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: All caught up...
PostPosted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:17 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Ok, so this is today's exchange... you're all caught up on.

Code:
(08:40:07) Mary: hello
(08:40:18) Mary: how are u
(08:40:25) Mary: how was today
(08:40:28) Mary: ?
(08:43:55) Bill: so far.
(08:44:07) Mary: ojk
(08:44:16) Mary: u went sending the money yesterday?
(08:45:51) Mary: what was the deal u where talking about yesterday
(08:45:53) Mary: ?
(08:46:00) Bill: even better, I got an email saying that this government minister would fly me to nigeria... I figure I could come over and visit with you in person... take care of your debt and we could have a vacation together.
(08:46:28) Mary: oh no


Ohh no indeed... :-)

Code:
(08:46:43) Bill: it sounded like fun
(08:46:52) Mary: no did not
(08:47:03) Mary: i told u i need these money urgent
(08:47:28) Mary: who are the peoples that sent u a mail from niegria\
(08:47:30) Bill: I can be there within a week apparently... Perhaps leaving on Saturday... take a mini vacation.
(08:47:36) Mary: are they astronaut
(08:48:08) Mary: well i need these maney urgent\
(08:48:15) Mary: i already told u?
(08:48:17) Bill: nah, the astronaut guy hasn't gotten back to me... this guy works in the oil ministry.
(08:48:30) Mary: ok
(08:48:43) Mary: do u want to make  deal with them
(08:48:56) Bill: it sounds interesting... could be lucrative.
(08:49:16) Mary: ok


At this point, I can just picture her thinking that if she can't get me on one scam she'll try and get me with another scam... this is just too funny.

Code:
(08:49:26) Mary: but dont pay them money
(08:49:46) Mary: before u pay them tell me so that they will not defraud u
(08:50:14) Mary: hey
(08:51:14) Mary: i have made all my effort talking with u and u wants to let me down
(08:51:24) Mary: not good i have relayed on u
(08:51:39) Mary: and now u are saying i should wait
(08:52:19) Bill: I don't want to let you down.... I want to meet you in real life, which is why I am looking forward to meeting you this weekend. I might be able to take off earlier to go over sooner.
(08:52:54) Mary: yeah i knew but can u send me the money now
(08:53:15) Mary: i told u that tuesday was my last day and now is wednesday\
(08:53:20) Mary: why?
(08:53:45) Mary: ?
(08:54:35) Bill: I told you, Western Union wanted me to have a government ID number (passport or drivers license number) to keep you from being subject to fraud and theft.. Why don't you carry your passport with you. It's not safe to leave it at the hotel
(08:55:00) Mary: ok
(08:55:26) Bill: I've been to western union 3 times now to try and help you... you've cost me money when I sent the money the first time... I am your friend, and I want to help you, but you don't seem to appreciate my efforts


I just feel so used... <sob>

Code:
(08:55:28) Mary: i will provide the id number before u go home from work so that u can send it as soon as u close
(08:57:31) Bill: ok... and I'll try and get you my flight details for my visit... will you be able to pick me up from the airport?
(08:57:55) Mary: yeah
(08:58:09) Mary: what are u coming to do here in africa?
(08:59:01) Bill: to meet with that minister in the oil department... (I've made a good amount of money in oil here in TX... it'd be good to branch out and explore other resources).
(08:59:20) Mary: hey
(08:59:21) Mary: wiat
(08:59:44) Bill: I have a 9am meeting I am going to be late to. will have to talk to you later
(09:00:26) Mary: is those peoples that mailed u about the oil
(09:00:26) Mary: is it ur company that wants to sponsor u?
(09:00:26) Mary: ok
(09:00:29) Bill: Bill has stepped out. Leave a mesg
(09:01:08) Mary: pls dont bouk flight to nigeria here about any oil they will fraud u pls be careful
(09:01:09) Bill: Bill has stepped out. Leave a mesg


Ahh, wise advice from my friend in Nigeria... "they will fraud you". I'm glad I've been warned.

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: As the world turns...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:11 pm 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
So Mary told me she'd get me her ID information so I could Western Union her the funds... Big shock, she never did:

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-15 17:44:40 on Bill (yahoo)
(17:45:20) Bill: Hey, you never got back to me about your ID info. I'll check email tonight, but it might be too late for me to get to Western Union.
(17:45:33) Bill: am on my way home right now though
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-16 08:30:43 on Bill (yahoo)
(23:53:02) Mary: hello
(23:53:23) Mary: send the money through money gram today pls
(23:53:25) : Buzz!!
(08:31:19) Bill: Mary, you told me you would get me your ID number before you went home.


But at this point, there is no need to send it via money order, as I will be flying with my millions of dollars into Nigeria to meet with an oil minister who sent me some email. Looks like I may have some companionship from Mary too. Lucky me. :-)

Code:
14:20:07) Mary: hello
(14:20:18) Mary: can u send it thruogh monet gram pls
(14:36:18) Mary: hello
(14:36:25) Mary: how are u
(14:47:04) Bill: Good news, my flight plans into nigeria have been finalized. He
re are the details: 
Carrier Continental
Flight number CO240
Aircraft: Boeing 737-800
Departure date  17 Jun 2005
Route   Austin (AUS) to New York (EWR)
Scheduled departure time        17 Jun 06:00
Scheduled arrival time  17 Jun 7:35

Carrier Virgin Atlantic
Flight number   VS 018
Departure date  17 Jun 2005
Route   New York (EWR) to London (LHR)
Scheduled departure time        17 Jun 08:20
Scheduled arrival time  17 Jun 20:00

Carrier Virgin Atlantic
Flight number   VS 651
Departure date  17 Jun 2005
Route   London (LHR) to Lagos (LOS)
Scheduled departure time        17 Jun 22:00
Scheduled arrival time  18 Jun 05:00

Hotel   Sheraton Lagos Hotel & Towers, Lagos
        30 Mobolaji Bank Anthony Way, Pmb 21189
        Ikeja, Lagos, 21189 Nigeria
Non-Smoking Premier class Suite

(14:47:22) Bill: You're still picking me up, right?


Good thing she's picking me up too, cause I'm apparently too cheap to pay for taxi.

Code:
(14:47:43) Mary: yeah
(14:47:47) Mary: i will
(14:47:57) Mary: but send me the money today
(14:48:02) Bill: My arrival time is kind of early,  5am.
(14:48:12) Mary: yes i know
(14:48:28) Bill: I'll be there in just like a day or so...


Btw, Virgin Atlantic's website helped give me that touch of realism that makes this whole scenario viable.

Code:
(14:48:52) Bill: I'm so excited to finally get to meet you in person
(14:48:56) Mary: wait are u coming for the oil trans
(14:49:17) Bill: Well, I'm going to do some work with the Oil minister, but mostly I'm coming to visit you.
(14:49:43) Bill: I've a meeting in about 5 minutes I need to prepare for.
(14:49:46) Mary: pls be careful with nigerians
(14:49:48) Mary: pls
(14:49:50) Mary: ?
(14:50:14) Mary: wait send the money through money gram pls
(14:51:05) Bill: ok, I'll just be working with  the gentleman from the government, so I shouldn't have a problem there, and then after work will hopefully spend with you, and you can show me the ropes.
(14:51:28) Mary: yeah i will
(14:51:49) Bill: I've reserved a nice hotel suite... perhaps you'd like to stay with me?
(14:52:23) Mary: yeah i will


Perhaps I might get lucky with Mary? Who knows? :-)

Code:
(14:52:34) Mary: but i need $300 today pls
14:52:50) Mary: u told me u will send it before u arrive


I feel so cheap discussing money while making plans for a romantic interlude...

Code:
(14:53:01) Mary: dont u want to see me cleanup
(14:54:02) Mary: hello
(14:54:05) Mary: u there?
(14:54:12) Bill: that was before my trip had been confirmed though... but I'll try and get the money sent tonight... if not, I'll bring it along. I'm sure you look fine hun... if not, I'll take you out for a manicure when I get in... my treat.
(14:54:51) Mary: oh tnx


See, the manicure makes all the difference... It works everytime.

Code:
(14:55:04) Mary: send money when u closes from work
(14:56:47) Bill: I'll try, but I'm going to be working late tonight since I have to leave by 6am tomorrow... and I still need to pack, finish buying a new company, and redistribute pensions among my executive board.
(14:57:01) Mary: hello
(14:57:05) Bill: so today is going to be busy...


Redistributing pensions is hard work you know...

Code:
(14:57:13) Mary:  u there am waiting for your arrival
(14:57:13) Bill: I've a meeting right now though
(14:57:23) Mary: ok
(14:57:30) Bill: I look forward to seeing you in Nigeria.
(14:57:49) Mary: me too
(14:57:52) Bill: Bill is busy, please leave a message
(14:58:04) Mary: ok
(14:58:05) Bill: Bill is busy, please leave a message


Now the hard part is to try and stay off of IM tomorrow while "flying".

-- Bill

P.S. Feel free to reply to this threads to suggest how things should progress... or even to indicate whether you get any amusement from this (and whether it's just me who can't stop laughing).

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Flying to Nigeria from my cubicle
PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:42 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Next few days will likely be a slow exchange of emails as I am supposedly flying to Nigeria. Lucky for me, Internet access is pretty ubiquitous from airports, so I'll be exchanging messages with Mary on my layovers. :-)

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-17 09:58:54 on Bill (yahoo)
(09:07:25) Mary: have u sent the money?
(09:07:34) Mary: hello
(09:07:54) Mary: and pls if it was the the peoples that sent you mail the other time you sent to my box


Wow, it amazes me that these people think Americans wouldn't recognize such terrible English as slightly suspicious.

Code:
(09:08:32) Mary: can u pls tell me
(09:10:47) Mary: i tell me if its ur company that was sending u here forbusiness transaction or you where coming for Mariam Abacha
(09:14:46) Mary: 2348054649272 for more verifications
(10:00:55) Bill: hi mary.. can't talk for long... am on the tarmac at the Laguardia airport in NY. The Virgin flight from NY to London is delayed... some defective part is being replaced. Thank goodness for wireless internet.
(10:02:36) Bill: I *did* send the money transfer last night. I sent a bit more, for a total of $500. I figured if something happened on my way there, it would be good to have an emergency reserve.
(10:03:38) Bill: I don't have the details with me right now, it's in the bundle of paperwork I just stuffed in my checked baggage as I was running late. I guess I'll be able to pick up my own money transfer. How funny is that? haha. Anyway, am looking to seeing you tomorrow.
(10:04:04) Bill: Hopefully this damn plane gets fixed and we can make up the time so I don't miss my connection into Lagos.
(10:06:36) Bill: Ohh, regarding your question, I haven't heard of this Mariam Abacha person. Apparently I'm meeting with an Undersecretary for Foreign Oil Development. My company is interested in foreign oil resources and markets, but the trip to Nigeria is my own plan motivated in large part by my desire to meet you. Have taken the next week off on vacation, but will hopefully make a good and profitable negotiation.
(10:07:04) Bill: Whoops, stewadess says I have to to log off the laptop. May try and hop on later from london.


While "in flight" (invisible mode) I received the following:

Code:
(13:38:46) Mary: hello
(13:38:57) Mary: do u say u sent the mi\oney
(13:38:58) Mary: ?
(15:54:57) Mary: pls send the money today pls


After touching down in Heathrow, I unidled and sent the following:

Code:
(16:23:34) Bill: Mary, this is Ross. am in heathrow airport finally, only have a few minutes before my flight into Lagos.
(16:24:35) Bill: Yes, I did send the money last night (or is that two night's ago? time zones have me screwed up). The details are all in my checked luggage though which  I won't have access to until I arrive in Lagos.
(16:25:30) Bill: I hope you will still be there to pick me up from the airport.  My flight is VS 651, arrival time is 5am June 18.
(16:26:29) Bill: A member of the oil ministry indicated that they could also give me a ride to the hotel, but I'd prefer to spend my time with you than some stuffy bureaucrat who just wants my money.
(16:27:10) Bill: I look forward to seeing you soon. Wear something sexy for me, ok? :-)
(16:27:28) Bill: I need to get to my flight gate... will chat with you in a few hours.

_________________
I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Oh my god, this is hilarious
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 1:55 pm 
Offline

Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2005 7:57 pm
Posts: 1
Dude,
This is so funny, I was laughing so hard. I'm actually going through the same thing myself, although, I got duped, but it's still funny, because I can totally relate to the buzzing and the stupidity. Also, I think you slipped and used your real name in your last post on here.


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 Post subject: No Slip
PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:15 pm 
He didn't slip. He intentionally gave his "real" name. Ross. Ross Perot. Texas Billionaire. See the earlier posts.


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 Post subject: While in Nigeria
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 8:57 am 
Offline

Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
Man, flying to nigeria seemed like such a good idea at the time. Little did I consider what an impact it would have on my IM schedule.... Thanks goodness for invisible mode. :-)

So, it's been a few days since I arriving in Lagos, I had the following offlines waiting for me.

-- Bill

P.S. I'm happy to see other people posting in the thread. Glad you guys are getting as much amusement out of this as I am. :-)

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-18 04:25:35 on Bill (yahoo)
(04:25:35) Mary: hello
(04:25:45) Mary: Mary: pls sorry for not getting back to you soon
(04:26:18) Mary: because u told me that u were coming by sunday and now saturday i already mised u
(04:26:49) Mary: well maybe u can talk with me when you are online at your hotell and tell me the hotel that you are in lagos nigeria
(04:37:03) Mary: can u give me ur phone number so that i can call u
(04:41:13) Mary: hello
(04:41:40) Mary: give me the details you use in sending the money so that I can come to your hotell ASAP
(04:41:50) Mary: <ding>


And here's my first contact with her after arriving in Nigeria.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-20 10:09:05 on Bill (yahoo)
(10:10:46) Bill: Good afternoon Mary, I'm so sorry I've not been in better contact... this has certainly been a memorable trip.  I'
m still quite jet lagged. I've had a real hard time getting used to the time difference...
(10:11:37) Bill: Plus those gentleman from the oil ministry are very persistent and have scheduled me with meetings from what seems
 like everyone in the entire damn ministry. It's like I don't have a second to myself.
(10:14:24) Bill: It's been hot hear lately. luckily, my hotel is quite nice. I'm at the Hotel   Sheraton Lagos Hotel & Towers, Lago
s. The phone number is 234 1  4978660-9
(10:16:06) Bill: ohh, this morning, I went ahead and picked up my own money order. I felt uncomfortable having that much money wait
ing for just anyone to pick up.  Instead, I've left $300 in an envelope at the main desk at the Sheraton. I've instructed the hotel
 staff to only give the money to you.. Mary Bratt.
(10:16:51) Bill: hopefully you can stop by the hotel and pay me a visit tonight?


My main goal here is try and cause "Mary" at least some level of inconvienience... It's also fun to see how far ole Mary from Boston is willing to go (or say she will go) for $300.

Note also that I'm trying to only IM'ing when it makes sense to IM on Nigeria time.

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-20 10:09:05 on Bill (yahoo)
(10:10:46) Bill: Good afternoon Mary, I'm so sorry I've not been in better contact... this has certainly been a memorable trip.  I'
m still quite jet lagged. I've had a real hard time getting used to the time difference...
(10:11:37) Bill: Plus those gentleman from the oil ministry are very persistent and have scheduled me with meetings from what seems like everyone in the entire damn ministry. It's like I don't have a second to myself.
(10:14:24) Bill: It's been hot hear lately. luckily, my hotel is quite nice. I'm at the Hotel   Sheraton Lagos Hotel & Towers, Lagos. The phone number is 234 1  4978660-9


I feel kind of guilty having the poor Sheraton operators have to handle her call... Not so guilty as to stop giving it out though.

Code:
(10:16:06) Bill: ohh, this morning, I went ahead and picked up my own money order. I felt uncomfortable having that much money waiting for just anyone to pick up.  Instead, I've left $300 in an envelope at the main desk at the Sheraton. I've instructed the hotel staff to only give the money to you.. Mary Bratt.
(10:16:51) Bill: hopefully you can stop by the hotel and pay me a visit tonight?


And now an actual convo with Mary (the preceding messages have all been offlines).

Code:
(14:10:18) Bill: sorry hun, I'm trying trying to catch up on like 4 days of missed email... am down at the hotel's business center.
(14:10:28) Mary: i got ur meesage and was pleased
(14:10:39) Mary: ok
(14:10:49) Mary: so are u in ur room now
(14:10:50) Mary: ?
(14:11:31) Bill: in the hotel, but not in the room... but I'm going to have to go soon... dinner plans with the government guys


2pm my time == 8pm Nigerian time, figured it was a convienient excuse. Plus, I don't want Mary trying to arrange for me to meet her.

Code:
(14:11:45) Mary: oh ok
(14:11:58) Mary: are u the only one that come to nigeria?
(14:12:21) Mary: hello
(14:12:29) Bill: I brought an assistant with me as well...
(14:12:47) Mary: oh ok
(14:12:55) Mary: so what about business
(14:13:30) Bill: I'd love to talk with you more about it, but I really do need to get through this email before I'm picked up to go to dinner.
(14:13:41) Mary: ok
(14:13:42) Bill: perhaps tonight you might want to swing by the hotel room?
(14:13:50) Mary: so u had picked up the money back?
(14:14:24) Bill: Yeah, I picked it up from Western Union this morning... I just felt uneasy with all I've read about Western Union  employees giving out money inappropriatly.
(14:14:38) Bill: It's waiting for you down at the hotel...
(14:14:46) Mary: ok
(14:14:48) Bill: just be sure to bring your id with you tonight.
(14:15:18) Mary: why id
(14:15:19) Bill: The conceirge will give it to you, even if I am not there
(14:16:35) Mary: can u try to call me now
(14:17:21) Bill: The driver for the car just arrived... am going to have to shut down... these guys don't have a sense of patience I've noticed.
(14:17:29) Bill: will chat with you later tonight hopefully.
(14:17:49) Mary: ok
(14:19:20) Mary: try to call me when back\
(14:19:54) Mary: 08023799527 ask for mary pls when u are back
(14:37:32) Mary: 2348023799527


You know, I've gone all this time thinking Mary is really some guy named Festus... Perhaps there really is a female that is part of the team? I really don't want to waste an international call to nigeria to find out though. I'm signing up for Vonage soon, and will soon be able to place calls to Nigeria for $0.11 cents per minute (or $.28 cents per minute if it's a cell phone) (how's that for an elaborate setup... this whole thread is just one big setup for a Vonage commercial) :-)

Back to our story... after returning from dinner (more like a coffee break at work):

Code:
(16:46:11) Bill: so is it a nigerian thing to take forever on dinner, or is it that these guys just want my investment so badly?
(17:07:34) Bill: I don't know what's wrong, but I've tried calling your number like 3 times and I doesn't seem to go through. I'm getting a tone that I don't even recognize... busy?  call incomplete?  I don't know the nigerian phone system enough to know what I'm hearing.


And that closes my third day in Nigeria...

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I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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 Post subject: Could she be on to me???
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:14 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 9:09 am
Posts: 13
I got the following in offline messages last night:

Code:
Conversation with Mary at 2005-06-21 08:28:28 on Bill (yahoo)
(07:25:56) Mary: hello
(07:27:05) Mary: are u fulling me\


"Yes Mary, I'm fulling you"

Code:
(07:27:56) Mary: i went to sheraton hotel that asked me for ur name i said Mr Bill from usa
(07:28:14) Mary: they said no body in these hotel with that name


You know, my buddy was saying I gave these people too much credit and I totally did. As was pointed out before, I told Mary like a week ago that my real name was Ross Perot, I figured she'd at least google the name, do a bit of research on who her mark is... nope. Not only that, she's goes to the hotel and asks for Mr. Bill. (Bill btw is my nickname registered on my Yahoo profile). Yeesh...

Code:
(07:28:48) Mary: can u give me your name and the receptionist name that i will taken the envelop from
(07:29:13) Mary: i came there twice and am not sure maybe i can still come to sheraton
(07:30:18) Mary: i will send my driver to pick up the money i even called the number you gave me a girl picked it up and was saying that there was no body bearing that name in that hotel
(07:30:30) Mary: looking forwatrd to here from u soon.


and my response...

Code:
(09:05:15) Bill: Mary, I only have a few minutes to chat before I need to get back in on the negotiations. I am disappointed that you didn't remember my real name. Ross Perot. Bill is just my alias to keep the public from pestering me for money over IM.
(09:07:17) Bill: The money is left with the conceirge. I don't recall his name, but it's not at the receptionist desk... it's at the conceirge desk. He has explicit directions to give you the money. You should just be able to talk to him. I think he will probably want to see some id to make sure it's you. I left him a big tip to make sure he didn't give it to any scammers or fraudsters.


Yes, he's to give my money to the distressed Mary, not any of those evil scammers.

Code:
(09:08:56) Bill: I don't think your driver will be able to pick up the money from the conceirge without your id. I really would like for you to visit me soon as well. I'd hate to be so close and not even be able to see you. I've just had a late lunch. Would you like to meet for dinner?
(09:10:34) Bill: Ohh... btw, I am thinking about cutting my vacation short. I've been getting a weird feeling about the officials I've been dealing with out of the oil ministry. I get the feeling they won't take no for an answer very well, so I'm making arrangements on my own to return back to TX. I hope to see you before I go.


My original plan was to stay for a week, but this whole IM'ing during Nigerian time is more of an annoyance to me than to her.

- Bill

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I couldn't (legally) pay someone to have this much fun with.


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