Here's an email I received the other day, followed by my sarcastic reply:
Oh what fun....
~Rosie
----- Original Message -----
From: "ibrahim bello" <ibrahimbello@5fm.za.com>
To: <ibrahimbello@5fm.za.com>
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2004 8:07 AM
Subject: CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY
ATTN WACHTER ,
I am highly compelled upon strict recommendation ,to write you this Very urgent and confidential letter.I am Mr Ibrahim Bello, Currently, the Chief Credit Officer with the Metropolitan Bank Nigeria Plc.
I was the account manager to Late Mr.Michael WACHTER , in the year 1997-2000, He is a Nation al of France,who used to work with Shell Development Company in Nigeria. On the 21st of April 2002 it was reported to us that the Late Mr.Michael WACHTER , his wife and their only daughter were involved in a car accident along Ibadan Express Road, Nigeria. Unfortunately,all occupants of the vehicle lost their lives.
Since then we have looked forward in our Bank to receiving a requisition letter to transfer his estate to his next of kin,which until now we have not received. I now took it upon myself as a responsibility to make sure the funds are transferred to his next of kin which still has proved unsuccessful even after several enquiries to the embassy of France here in Nigeria to locate any of Late Mr. Michael WACHTER , extended relatives.After these several unsuccessful attempts, I had to get an alternative hence I contacted you for our own benefits. All I want you to do is to assist in repatriating the fund valued at US$25 million (TWENTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) deposited here in our bank (Metropolitan BankNigeria Plc.) before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable.
For the fact that I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives of Mr.Michael WACHTER , seek your utmost assistance to repatriate these Funds into your safe hands, while we will work out in honesty an agreeable sharing ratio that would mutually benefit both of us.On this concept, you have to bear in mind that the procedures to retrieving these Funds are Legal and would not in any manner infringe on your Individual rights.
If you are interested you should contact me through my telephone number:234-80-37147159 0r with the same email address. Kindly keep this information to yourself, as I expect your most wellcomed response.
Best Regards,
Mr Ibrahim Bello
----- Original Message -----
To: "ibrahim bello" <ibrahimbello@5fm.za.com>
Sent: Friday, April 30, 2004 8:16 PM
Subject: Re: CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY
OH NO! Nobody told me that Pappy Michael died!! I'm a little confused, however, since Pappy had divorced his last wife, Agnes, several years ago after deciding at age 85 that he preferred sheep to humans. Also, the "daughter" to which you refer much have been Agnes', as Pappy only had one child, my dad, Tito Bixby Wachter, who moved to the Andes Mountains years ago to raise Chinchillas. He would be the only other living relative, besides myself, to make any claim to Pappy's estate. Unless you count the child that he fathered out of wedlock, Uncle Pippin McScrotum, but he's on death row in Florida for that incident with the bodies in his back yard. I still think he was framed by the undertaker that was having a affair with Uncle Pippin's wife, but they were never able to prove it.
Now you say Pappy had 25 million?! That's astounding! I guess we'd better keep this hush hush, as I know a few loan sharks that would love to hear about that! They've been gunning for him for years and I'm sure they weren't aware that he had been living in Nigeria.
Unfortunately, I cannot call you directly. Please feel free to give me a call at 717-346-5781. Ask for Jufjeiceeeki. That's what I call myself.