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 Post subject: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 2:03 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 26, 2011 1:54 pm
Posts: 2
Is there anyone who can give me some advice on how to recover from a romantic scam. I think I am finding it difficult in trying to let go and I find it dificult knowing that my feelings were betrayed and I was used

The man in question even patrionised me at the end making feel like I was a worthless and that he made it out like it was my fault.

I feel that I cannot move on and he probably has even forgot my name by now

I just want to feel good about myself again and I worthy of affection and love


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2011 3:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:22 am
Posts: 14
Hi There

1. Self affiirmation: You are an honourable, special, worthy and wonderful soul

2. Self Realisation: Realise you are more than what the individual made you out to be

3. Self Importance: Recognize that if others find you important to them it matters not if one finds you unimportant whether later on. You realize those who are more pro-you than anti-you and you will realize just important you really are e.g. I was removed from the RUA forum where there was an interesting lady named Jinny I had intentions of liking but the forum members attacked me because of what I stood for and so I never got the chance to express myself to her how much I liked her! Perhaps we shall meet one day again!

4. Self expulsion: You should express all that has been done here so that you can expel it from your mind and heart and aim to not think about it at all. Shed your tears as they will help you heal too as well

5. Self reward: Learn to reward yourself with encouraging and positive words and thoughts that you should speak to yourself to remind yourself of all the successes you have had in your life and are still yet to come in your life. One failure does not mean we never will have future successes later on!

Note: I do not believe in the foolish idea of telling someone "good luck" in life about anything including healing from pain. I believe more in deliberate action and choice. I too know what it is to be hurt online as well after investing so much emotion in the situation and not just once but on more than one occasion and no one who wished me "good luck" in life in the future ever helped me whatsoever! I had to take deliberate steps to be healed!

There is one more ultimate step that you need to take

Plus I hope you have reported this scam


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2011 7:43 pm 
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Site Admin/Co-Founder

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 10:09 pm
Posts: 2919
It will take time to heal from this, as it would with any relationship.

_________________
Shawn Mosch
Co-Founder of http://ScamVictimsUnited.com
There is strength in numbers!

Share your story with the media and educate others about scams! Details here http://scamvictimsunited.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=6319
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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2011 10:30 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 26, 2011 1:54 pm
Posts: 2
Thankyou for replying to me. I want to move on but there is a shadow over me. Before I blocked him and tried very hard to remove him from my life. His last patrionising message was that he has got some photos of me. (I know as he has as he sent me two as evidence) He took them without my consent. He is going to send them to the British and Turkish consulates, police, family friends and my employer. He wants 2 million euros.

I managed to get him banned from many social networking sites but I have found recently he is on them again and changed his name. I feel sorry for other women he will terrorise

He used me and I did not really see it until too late, he tried to scam me for money several times (employer not paying, set up a business and he will go to prison), he wanted a visa to enter the UK by sweet talking me and he faked a heart attack to gain sympathy in order to ask for money.

What makes it really sick is that he is exposing himself and scamming people online whilst his two children are sleeping in the next room

Now I cannot move on as I feel something might happened down the line somewhere. I am angry but I am also scared as well


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 8:06 am 
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Site Admin/Co-Founder

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 10:09 pm
Posts: 2919
First thing that you have to remember is that he does NOT have any control over you . . . only you do.

He has pictures of you . . . so what . . . are you committing a crime in the pictures? He committed a crime when he took that money from you. I know it is not as easy as flipping a switch, but one big thing to work on is to know that he does not have any control over you. You are a strong person and he will not hold you down.

Also, did you meet his children? My point is, how do you REALLY know he has children? That could have been a lie also. That is what these scammers do . . . they make up stories and alternate profiles and pretend to be someone they are not.

I would also suggest some of the things here . . . http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coping_ ... reakup.htm Treat this like a bad break up, and follow the steps to heal. Talking about the situation is one of the steps, so you are already doing that.

Also, go and take a day for YOU! Do things that make you happy . . . heck, I think that is advice we could ALL take. :mrgreen:

_________________
Shawn Mosch
Co-Founder of http://ScamVictimsUnited.com
There is strength in numbers!

Share your story with the media and educate others about scams! Details here http://scamvictimsunited.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=6319
Sign our petition http://www.change.org/actions/view/crea ... s_programs
Follow our blog http://scamvictimsunited.wordpress.com/
Find us on Twitter, Facebook and more http://www.retaggr.com/page/ShawnMosch
_______________________________________________
Has this site helped you?
Buy us a coffee to say thanks ~ http://www.scamvictimsunited.com/donations.htm


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 9:03 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 11:22 am
Posts: 14
one abused heart wrote:
Thankyou for replying to me. I want to move on but there is a shadow over me. Before I blocked him and tried very hard to remove him from my life. His last patrionising message was that he has got some photos of me. (I know as he has as he sent me two as evidence) He took them without my consent. He is going to send them to the British and Turkish consulates, police, family friends and my employer. He wants 2 million euros.

I managed to get him banned from many social networking sites but I have found recently he is on them again and changed his name. I feel sorry for other women he will terrorise

He used me and I did not really see it until too late, he tried to scam me for money several times (employer not paying, set up a business and he will go to prison), he wanted a visa to enter the UK by sweet talking me and he faked a heart attack to gain sympathy in order to ask for money.

What makes it really sick is that he is exposing himself and scamming people online whilst his two children are sleeping in the next room

Now I cannot move on as I feel something might happened down the line somewhere. I am angry but I am also scared as well


Let me deal with these issues

1. Stop living in the fear zone of "what ifs"

2. You cannot control the outcomes of those other women-However in time the law of sowing and reaping will apply and what is negatively sown by one will be harvested negatively later on by the same person

3. His bribery charges cannot stand up because unless there is supportive evidence to try any case against any individual then one cannot win. It is not like the places you have mentioned that he takes your pics too are stupid. They are places of intelligence and they will know fraudulent activity when they see it. It is more than likely that he will put himself at risk at being exposed for his activities than putting you at risk!

4. Go to God-He always helps! 8)

P.S. You are most indeed welcome :?


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 6:02 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:33 am
Posts: 123
sterlinsookoo wrote:
4. Go to God-He always helps! 8)


Then how come she is in this position?

_________________
Excuse me, ma'am. Is your refrigerator running? *gasp* It IS? Well, you better go catch it before it runs away! A-ha! A-ha! A-ha!


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 Post subject: Re: advice on how to recover
PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 12:36 pm 
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Site Admin/Co-Founder

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 10:09 pm
Posts: 2919
Pennywise . . . your comment makes me think of the following joke
(disclaimer . . . I am NOT being negative to anyone that believes in the power of prayer)

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."

The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will save him." So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!"

------------------------

Again, I am not bashing on anyone that believes in faith and the power of prayer, but I do think that there are things that we as humans can do to help things out also.

_________________
Shawn Mosch
Co-Founder of http://ScamVictimsUnited.com
There is strength in numbers!

Share your story with the media and educate others about scams! Details here http://scamvictimsunited.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=6319
Sign our petition http://www.change.org/actions/view/crea ... s_programs
Follow our blog http://scamvictimsunited.wordpress.com/
Find us on Twitter, Facebook and more http://www.retaggr.com/page/ShawnMosch
_______________________________________________
Has this site helped you?
Buy us a coffee to say thanks ~ http://www.scamvictimsunited.com/donations.htm


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