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 Post subject: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 6:16 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:19 am
Posts: 4
Met a girl on an online dating site. We talked for about 3 months using webcam and messenger, usually about 3 hours a night. I met members of her family and some friends online also. And I phoned occasionally. Very nice and friendly and i had no reason to be suspicious at all. Then she said she might be able to come and visit me. Prior to her visit to europe she mentioned she loaned a friend $3000 and then he went off with the money. She did not ask money from me and I certainly did not offer - merely encouraged her to go the police, and i have been wary of such things as i am not unaware of scams. I began to wonder but i let it go as so many other things seemed fine. I had her home phone number and mobile and her address. Well, she still managed to have money to come over. She came to visit me from central america after visiting a cousin and her friends in europe. We spent 2 weeks together and our relationship developed into a romance, including sexual relations. Then she went back home. Things continued as normal until early february. Then she mentioned that her mother asked to borrow money from her to pay for house redecoration and a new fridge. She was very upset and told me she couldnt pay because the man who ran off with her money could not pay her. Well, i was sceptical of this, but I sent $1000 and made sure she treated it as a loan to her mother, and insisted she contact the police about this man - she didnt - claiming it would be no good anyway. I went on about how there would be bank records about the money et al. But i dont think she followed it up. She was happy that i sent the money and I did see redecoration work being done on webcam and she sent pictures. So, i knew it was actually happening. Then she wanted a laptop. Well again, I got her the laptop, but I split the money with her cousin who provided the other half of the money, partly because I would not get money until the end of the month (i could have used a credit card) and partly because I was curious as to what would happen. I said I would pay the remainder at the end of february as money was a bit tight. Well, when i saw her cousin online after this she began to look uneasy. I guess maybe she was wondering if I would pay the balance :-) It was money she was going to use to pay her university fees. Well during this period of mid-february i started to get a little bit suspicious. I began to wonder how my girl could afford to live at all. She was a student. So I asked her. She said that if she told me how she made money she could never speak to me again. Well, obviously I did not like the sound of that at all. I persisted and she said it was nothing bad. So, i guess I ruled out s@% for money and drugs. But all the same my suspicious rose dramatically. And I was left wondering whether she was borrowing money off one internet friend to pay another sort of thing - when she was with me I noticed she had more messenger friends than i have had hot dinners. Then the next revelation was that she had come over to europe partly to get away from situation going on in her local town. She said many people were talking about her - small town mentality and all that - thought she said it was over some sort of fight, but neglected to explain what the fight was about. So, again I wondered whether it was s@% or drugs, but when I brought up the issue she got very angry and said never to say that again - to use her words she was no bitch. In any case, that put my time with her in a new light. I was no longer the main reason she came to europe, but was at least in part a haven from things going on back in her town. Then at the end of february, she said her brother had been involved in a car crash. he was fine but was in hospital for a couple of days. but she needed money to get hotels in the city so that her, her mother and her aunt could visit him. Well, I had no money to give unless I used my credit card, and I have certainly heard of a car crash scam - money for hospital bills etc. But she did not ask me for money for hospital bills. She asked me to pay for hotel rooms. Even asked for the credit card number, which I told her I would never do and it would not work anyway, my credit card company would check before allowing such a transaction. Well, I might be wealthy but most of my money is tied up in investments and cannot be lifted easily. So I had to say I could not help her. She was pissed off and said I was just like her ex-boyfriend. Well, I got angry and said, why did you leave your ex-boyfriend if he was giving you $2000 for house work and laptop? Well, she apologised and that was that. But at end of february her internet went off. I phoned and she said she had not paid the bill in 3 months and it had been disconnnected. So, our only means of communication was then by phone. But phone calls hardly ever happened. I had to pester her and leave messages on her mobile to get her to contact me. I made it easy for her. All she had to do was call - I would not answer, and then I would call her back so it would cost her nothing. But still she would hardly call, after being online at least 3 hours a night for the best part of 5 months. Well, she has phoned me twice since the end of february. But now insists on speaking spanish only even though her english is good. My spanish is poor and it is hard for me to communicate with her, even though I have been learning. I get the full impression she is trying to make it easy for me to end the relationship. I leave messages, she does not respond. When i do get an answer she speaks spanish and makes communication difficult. The last call which I phoned to her, I got through on the home line, she said her Mother and Father were divorcing in Spain. Complete news to me. Well, as it stands, I dont know whether she is a scammer, or just a girl that likes to have boyfriends pick up the tab for everything. Some things suggest to me scamming behaviour. But other things do not. Bear in mind that we spent at least 3 hours a night most nights of the week online using webcam and have had warm and friendly relations for most of that time. I met her family online and i have spoken to them also. But something is clearly not right. In the last week she has been visited by a cousin from europe. And when I phone I leave messages asking for only 5 minutes to speak. Yet it is too much time for her to bother. Something is clearly not right. But is it a scam? Or is she in that grey area between scam and money loving woman?

Does anyone have any thoughts about how I can proceed, other than just dumping her? There has been a lot more good than bad in our relationship. it is sour at the moment, but for the most part has been a lot of fun and I admit I do love her. But things are bad at the moment and I know her behaviour is deliberate and cruel starving me of contact and communication with her, and I have been on another site for long distance relationships and they seem to think she is just a scammer with red flags waving everywhere. If she is a scammer, what options have I got? The money I have given her, I could afford to lose. If she was a scammer I would like it back, but only on principle, not for financial reasons. If she is a scammer, I admit I would also like to make it too uncomfortable for her ever to try it again - I suppose some notion of revenge in there and maybe she should try working for a living like most people.

I welcome any suggestions.

Sincerely.


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 7:36 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:50 am
Posts: 291
Location: WI
Well it may not be a complete scam since you met her in person but it sounds to me like she is playing you for money. Sounds like her cousin is another guy who will give her money.


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 11:06 am 
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:19 am
Posts: 4
Yes, that is what i have been thinking. But the only thing is she would have had virtually no contact on internet with such another man. She would not have had time. But definitely money is a big thing for her. But would you call it a scam? If her brother was not in a car crash then it would be classed as a scam? I dont know if he was or wasnt but it sounds like scamming.


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:36 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 10:09 pm
Posts: 2921
call it a scam or someone that just "lives off of others" . . . she sounds like bad news and you should cut your ties . . . I know it is hard to hear, but she only likes you for your money . . . when the money runs out or does not flow, she moves on to someone else

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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:42 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:50 am
Posts: 291
Location: WI
sure she could have had time with another man on the net. If you think about it she probably does this type of thing as a full time job and since you usually only talked to her about 3 hours a day that leaves 21 hours for other men. It could be classed as a scam since she got money out of you, but the fact that you met her face to face makes it a bit different than your normal scams. To me it sounds more like you paying for relations with her. I don't remember but did you give her money before she came to see you or after?


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 4:58 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:19 am
Posts: 4
She does go to university, of that I am fairly certain and it would be easy enough to check if she has been lying about it. And I gave her money after she came over to see me. If I had just wanted s#% for money Amsterdam is much cheaper, but it is just not my sort of thing. Though if other people wish to do that then that is there business, and at least it is an honest transaction that way. There is a lot of truth to the saying that love is blind, I guess.

One of the reasons I started talking to her was she lives in the country I wish to move to. So if she has done either of the suggestions she will have a shock when i land on her doorstep. Because I am intending to move in the summer in any case. Once my house is sold, and once I have developed the contacts necessary to get an honest deal on a place when I move there.

But as a scam it is a complicated one, I agree. If her brother was never in hospital then it will be a scam. I can check that when I go there as there ought to be a record of some sort. But i have offered to pay for her internet and she refused saying that she should learn to be more careful with money. That is why I have my doubts about it all. But one thing is certain the way she is treating me now is not acceptable. But in due course, I guess I will know the truth of it all. And for me that is what is most important now. The money, I am fortunate enough to be wealthy enough to lose, which is one reason I gave it up - I had my suspicions but gave her the benefit of the doubt. Now, I feel differently. If I get the money back, I will give it to charity, and launder it properly :-)


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:22 pm 
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Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:19 am
Posts: 4
Thanks for the advice Shawn. It seems to be the universal advice. In due course that will be the result. But I am not someone just to give up. When I played football I there was a keeper in my team who always called me the Rottweiler :-D I may tire but I never give up. But thanks again for the advice, and it is the correct advice.


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 Post subject: Re: possible scamming
PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 12:45 pm 
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Site Admin/Co-Founder

Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2003 10:09 pm
Posts: 2921
It is good to be a determined person and not give up on important things, but make sure you look at things and see if they are WORTH the effort.

_________________
Shawn Mosch
Co-Founder of http://ScamVictimsUnited.com
There is strength in numbers!

Share your story with the media and educate others about scams! Details here http://scamvictimsunited.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=6319
Sign our petition http://www.change.org/actions/view/crea ... s_programs
Follow our blog http://scamvictimsunited.wordpress.com/
Find us on Twitter, Facebook and more http://www.retaggr.com/page/ShawnMosch
_______________________________________________
Has this site helped you?
Buy us a coffee to say thanks ~ http://www.scamvictimsunited.com/donations.htm


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